The very same situation can feel overwhelming to you, yet seem manageable or even unimportant to a colleague, a partner or even your child. That’s because no situation comes pre-loaded with meaning. You are the one who interprets and colours every experience, moment by moment, through the lens you choose to look through.
The question to consider is why you define a situation in a way that you don’t actually prefer, as this influences your overall experience. Such definitions often lead to feelings of Frustration, negativity, or anger. If you choose to be frustrated, for example, you believe it benefits you in some way!
Not long ago, an executive leader said to me, “If I don’t get frustrated and angry, I won’t get anything done.” This stopped me in my tracks. So I asked a simple question: Do you believe you could achieve the same results from a place of calm, clarity, and focus instead?
At first, they pushed back, hard! Frustration was their fuel, their default setting, the state they believed they needed to experience to perform.
But as we continued the conversation, a powerful realisation landed: their results had never come from anger. In fact, they discovered they could be just as productive, actually more productive, without the Frustration silently draining their energy and negatively affecting everyone around them.